Week four on the disabled list was pretty quiet.
I managed to lift Monday, Wednesday and Friday and did my straight leg raises (yawn) too. I attempted to get ahead at work, but mostly just did what I needed to do. My niece’s 3rd grade basketball team (I am the assistant coach) won again making them 10-2 for overall.
Nothing crazy or dramatic, just life carrying on.
Finally, a calm week.
Preparing for All Outcomes
My surgery is tomorrow. I am so anxious to get it done and move forward with rehab. I want to be the super focused, super motivated patient. I want to be the patient who follows all the directions and does all the work.
I want there to be no question I did everything I could.
I just have to stay focused on the long-term goal and not be deterred by what I want in the moment. This has been a lifelong weakness of mine, but I choose to look at this an opportunity to change. An opportunity to do right by my body and do right by my spirit.
Surgery is at 3:30 PM. I can’t eat after midnight. I highly recommend not speaking to me Thursday until after surgery. Hanger is real, folks and you don’t want any part of it.
I do plan on stuffing my face full of Five Guys at 11:45 PM Wednesday night. If anyone cares to join me, please bring your food over (I won’t share) and we’ll feast.
I have my follow-up with the surgeon as well as my first physical therapy appointment on Friday. I am staying cautiously optimistic and am sooooo curious to hear what my surgeon has to say after seeing the inside of my knee.
Speaking of the inside of my knee, I am planning to ask for video and/or pictures – whatever they can give me – from surgery. I want to see that bad boy. From the inside.
After the first week or so, I should be off crutches, back to work on light duty and in full swing with PT. This is where I need to strategize for the inevitable, “Why yes, yes I would rather binge watch House of Cards with a few bottles of cheap chardonnay than do my exercises” moments.
Maybe pictures of me Jamming taped to the TV?
On second thought, maybe pictures of Kate, Liz and Stephanie Jamming would be better. A little healthy competition never hurt, right?
Maybe I’ll make an accountability calendar. I suggest them to my clients all the time. I get a gold star on all the days I complete my rehab assignment and after so many days, I get a prize.
I’m open to suggestions.
What if it Doesn’t Work?
I have to be prepared for all possibilities. It is very possible that three months from tomorrow, I’ll be in my surgeon’s office and he’ll be giving me the, “Well it was certainly worth a shot” and “Good luck on that new knee” speeches.
Am I prepared for that? Do I need to be? How much positive thinking is too much positive thinking? Is there such thing?
I don’t know the answers. I don’t expect to though, either. I just have to hope that I find a good balance of optimism and realism over the next few months and I think I can.
See You on the Other Side
That’s it. That’s all I have today. Tomorrow is the first step towards getting my life back. I have learned quite a bit about myself in the last month and that has to be the silver lining to this injury. The life I take back beginning tomorrow will be a much more intentional life.
I will do what I love to do, but I will not allow it to consume me.
I will work hard on my professional goals and I will not allow myself to get so busy that I forget them or just plain run out of energy to pursue them.
I will remember who my truest friends are and not allow anyone else to hurt my heart.
I will love my family for always supporting me and I will tell them I love them “early and often” as my mom would say, because they deserve to know it and to hear it.
I will live with intention and I will embrace my future – whatever it holds.
See you on the other side.